Most parents spend years teaching their children how to stay safe.
Look both ways before crossing the street. Don’t talk to strangers. Call home if plans change.
But many autism families eventually realize there’s another conversation we need to have. One that most parents never imagine having at all.
What happens if your autistic child or loved one interacts with police?
It’s an uncomfortable topic. I know because I used to avoid it too. Then my family spent 19 months inside the criminal justice system with my autistic adult son, and everything changed.
What I learned during that time is something I wish every family understood sooner: autistic traits are often misunderstood during law enforcement encounters, especially when officers have little training or experience with neurodivergence.
Behaviors that are neurologically based can be mistaken for defiance, dishonesty, aggression, intoxication, or lack of remorse. And once a misunderstanding begins, situations can escalate quickly.
This is not about teaching autistic people to “act normal.” It is about helping families prepare for a world that does not always understand autism and helping autistic individuals communicate in ways that reduce confusion and increase safety.
Many common autistic traits can look unusual to someone unfamiliar with autism, especially during stressful interactions.
For example:
Stress magnifies all of this.
Even autistic individuals who communicate well at home may struggle to speak clearly under pressure. Processing speed often slows during anxiety. Some people lose verbal ability temporarily when overwhelmed. Others may answer questions inaccurately simply because they are frightened, overloaded, or trying desperately to end the interaction.
Unfortunately, law enforcement officers are trained to look for signs of deception, intoxication, or threat. Without autism awareness, neurologically based behaviors can be interpreted through the wrong lens.
That misunderstanding can change the entire direction of an encounter.
Many families assume police interactions are unlikely to happen to their autistic loved one. Unfortunately, research suggests otherwise.
According to a study by the A.J. Drexel Institute, compared with non-autistic individuals, autistic people experience higher rates of interaction with the criminal justice system over their lifetime. In fact, by age 21, nearly 20% of autistic youth have been stopped and questioned by police, and approximately 5% have been arrested.
Those numbers can feel frightening to parents. I understand that reaction. But this is exactly why preparation matters.
Preparation is not pessimism. It is protection.
We teach fire drills without expecting a fire. We teach seatbelt safety without expecting a crash.
Preparing autistic individuals for possible law enforcement interactions works the same way.
Abstract advice is often difficult for autistic individuals to apply during stressful situations. Concrete, rehearsed language usually works better.
Families can help by practicing short scripts and predictable steps ahead of time.
For example:
Role playing can help tremendously. Practice calm interactions at home. Talk through different scenarios. Repetition builds familiarity, and familiarity can reduce fear.
Some families also create communication cards that briefly state the person is autistic and may need extra processing time or sensory accommodations. While these tools are not guarantees, they can sometimes help provide context early in an interaction.
This may come as a surprise, but one of the most important things autistic individuals can do during police encounters is this:
Stay silent.
In fact, talking and trying to explain too much while frightened, overloaded, confused, or desperate to please authority figures can make situations worse.
Many autistic people are highly compliant by nature. They want to answer correctly. They want to be “good.” They want the interaction to end peacefully. Under stress, that can lead to oversharing, guessing, agreeing with statements they do not fully understand, or continuing to talk long after they should stop.
That is why families should practice a very short, very simple communication plan ahead of time.
Depending on age and developmental level, autistic individuals may be safest learning to say only:
And then stop talking.
That last part is incredibly difficult.
Police encounters are intimidating for almost everyone. For autistic individuals, they can also be overstimulating, confusing, and terrifying. The natural instinct is often to keep talking, keep explaining, or try harder to make the officer understand. It’s crucial this instinct be ignored.
Silence is not obstruction.
Silence is protection.
It protects autistic individuals from saying things inaccurately under pressure. It protects against misunderstandings caused by literal thinking, confusion, suggestibility, panic, or delayed processing. And it creates space for a parent, caregiver, or attorney to help support communication more effectively.
Families should practice this calmly and repeatedly, not in a frightening way, but the same way we practice fire drills or emergency plans.
Autistic individuals are often taught from childhood to comply with authority figures, answer questions honestly, and explain themselves fully. Those instincts usually come from a good place.
But high-pressure police interactions are different from ordinary conversations.
Many autistic people become more vulnerable under stress. Some may say “yes” simply to end the interaction. Some may repeat language suggested by authority figures. Others may become confused by rapid questioning, sarcasm, hypotheticals, or complex phrasing.
Even highly verbal autistic individuals can struggle to communicate accurately during sensory overload or fear.
That is why preparation matters so much.
The goal is not to create fear of law enforcement. The goal is to reduce the likelihood of confusion, escalation, and preventable harm during moments when communication may already be breaking down.
If there is one thing I wish someone had told me years ago, it is this:
A law enforcement interaction can become life-changing very quickly when it involves someone with autism.
Most officers genuinely want to keep situations safe. But safety depends heavily on communication and interpretation, and autistic traits are still too often viewed through a neurotypical lens.
Families should not have to learn this the hard way.
That’s why these conversations matter.
Preparation cannot eliminate every risk. But it can give autistic individuals a plan when fear makes thinking hard.
And that plan is simple: I have autism. I want my parents. I want my attorney.
Then stop talking. Full stop.
Sometimes the most protective thing a person can do is say less. We need to make sure our loved ones know that — before they ever need it.
Susan McCorkindale is an author, autism advocate, and TEDx speaker whose work is grounded in lived experience and a commitment to helping families facing challenges affecting autistic individuals. After spending 19 months navigating the criminal justice system alongside her autistic adult son, she created LAWTISM: Autism, the Law, and What Parents Need to Know, a resource that has helped hundreds of families better understand and prepare for interactions with legal and institutional systems. Her work focuses on awareness, prevention, and protecting autistic individuals in systems never designed with neurodivergence in mind.When Autism Is Misread: Helping Autistic Individuals Prepare for Police Encounters
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