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April 16th, 2021, was one of the best days of my life. That was the day my then 13-year-old brother, Daniel, told me he loved me for the first time. Although that might not mean much for some people, it was the proudest moment I could have as a big sister. Daniel was diagnosed with autism at the age of four. Psychologists told my parents that there was a good chance he would never be able to fully communicate or express himself as he grew up. Looking back, I can say I resent those doctors for the audacity to put such small expectations on my brother. I have seen him grow into a thoughtful, caring, funny, and intelligent person. He views the world in a way I wish I could see through my own eyes. He is and always will be the strongest person I know. Even if he doesn’t see that in himself, I can believe it for both of us.

From the day Daniel was born, he has always been my best friend. Having an autistic sibling can lead to some tough times, but that’s normal. No one hands you a pamphlet the day your sibling is born and tells you what to expect. The way your relationship with your sibling functions will be different and there isn’t a way around that, but different doesn’t mean bad, it’s just learning to accept that it’s not typical.

While there are many things I don’t know, I do know that there is nothing my brother can’t do. He has overcome obstacles that I will never have to confront. I count myself to be the luckiest big sister in the world to have every day blessed by the brutal honesty, child-like innocence, and pure joy that my autistic sibling brings to my life. When loving someone with a disability you are forced to become your most fundamental self. It brings you to the basics where you acquire and retain the values of kindness, helpfulness and patience for the rest of your life.

As a teenager it’s normal to feel like all you want to do is hide from the world. Having a brother without a filter, who reminds you of every new pimple that pops up on your face, doesn’t make that any easier. The only message I hope to share with other siblings in my position is that it’s ok to need time to accept the unique challenge life has presented for you. It took me a long time to understand and appreciate that relationship too.

People will always fear what they do not understand. Acceptance begins with understanding, that each person is unique, and that certain people need extra help, time, attention, and a little extra love. Autism can expose some difficult and scary feelings. It forces you to reevaluate and leave behind the life you may have imagined and begin a new unplanned path. You don’t know where this path ends, but you hold your family’s hands and start the journey. Daniel and I have developed into young adults who have the highest regard and gratitude for one another because of the love and commitment of our parents, and I thank them for their strength.

And to my brother, you have my undying love, which words can never express. I would not trade the experience of getting to love you for anything. The struggles make us stronger, and I consider myself the luckiest girl in the world to have learned that living a happy life has everything to do with our ability to love one another.

Julia is a writer with a personal connection to autism. Growing up with a sibling on the spectrum, they experienced the challenges of navigating complex emotions and relationships. Through their blog, Julia hopes to offer support and validation to siblings of autistic individuals, encouraging them to acknowledge and accept their feelings, no matter how difficult. Drawing from personal experience, they aim to create a space where it’s okay to struggle, share, and grow—especially during the already tough teenage years. She believes that open conversations can foster understanding and compassion within families.