News and Knowledge

Being the mom of a very anxious tween with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), I know that days off school, unexpected storms that wipe out power, and holiday breaks can breed anxiety and stress that’  s painfully present!  We spent many years with holiday horrors and vacation disasters before we locked down a routine and a plan for our unstructured time.

To put a plan in place, the first thing you need to understand is the root of the anxiety and stress. If it’s rooted in “not knowing what’s next,” there’s one plan, and if it’s based on “boredom or not enough exercise,” there are plans for that too.

These are a few tricks that we use during our most challenging times that actually make unstructured time useful and fun.

Tips for Unstructured Time at Home

• Make a plan for the day and go over it the night or day before. Put the plan on the calendar, a visual schedule, or iPhone and stick to it. Social stories about pending vacation time or visitors are very helpful.
• Include exercise. Our days usually include exercise in the morning, first thing.

• Make breakfast together. Not only does this mean quality time together, following directions, measuring, stirring (sensory), and sneaking tastes, it’s also a great time waster!

• Plan an activity out of the house right away in the mornings. We need to get out for an adventure. If it’s warm we walk, bike, or hike. When it’s cold, we go swimming at an indoor pool, shoot baskets at a gym, or head to the mall to just wander and practice getting used to sensory stimulation.

• Lunch can be tons of fun if your child can find the foods in the grocery store himself. Some kids like to eat the same thing every day for lunch and that’s totally fine. If your kids are adventurous, make it a social lesson by providing new foods alongside some favorite standbys.

• Do an at-home afternoon activity like word searches or sensory activity (painting, cooking, or yoga). If you can work in a social life skill (masking it as fun), this is awesome. We do lots of laundry sorting, washing, and putting the laundry away. Jake also loves to make beds, vacuum, and organize stuff, so an afternoon at home can go by quickly. If he earns money for his work, all the better.

• Spend some quiet time planning the next day. Our son has to know what’s coming next before he can shut his eyes for the night so that’s a must for us.

• During holidays, take a day trip to someplace new. Taking public transportation like the bus, subway, or train helps teach more life skills and it can be a lot of fun.

Tips for Unstructured Time During Travel

• Bring electronics. If you are traveling by plane, which is what we usually do, bring electronics with a full charge. iPhone games are amazing time wasters, I mean, educational lessons, and can keep just about any kid quiet for long stretches. (For the record, an iPhone 5 battery lasts just over four hours of constant playing). Portable Wi-Fi hotspots and battery packs are also very helpful.

• Non-electronic activities will help too. Pencil and paper is a great carry-on. Jake loves to draw, and he is on the cusp of knowing how to play Hangman and other word games.

• Let your child pull suitcases or, if she’s smaller, push her own stroller. We spent many productive hours letting Jake burn energy this way.

• Arrive at the gate about an hour before departure and always pre-board with the families. It doesn’t matter how old your child with autism is, just go to the desk and tell them you have a child with special needs with you and need to board early. They most assuredly will allow it with one adult escort.

• Bring snacks and water for the plane. We always have a bag of blow-pops and water bottles. The sucking motion helps keep ears open and chewing the gum is a great anxiety releaser.

• Traveling by car? Try audio books on tape or through Bluetooth. Make time for plenty of rest stops. We stop at nearly every one, unless someone is sleeping, to race around the parking lots to stretch our bodies and get blood flow moving again.

What to Do If You Lose Power at Home

There is nothing quite like losing power during a storm. The blessing here is that you usually have some warning that a bad weather event is on the way. These are a few tips that we have tried:

• If your kids like screens (and most I know do), make sure to have a charger adapter for the car. We have backed the car out of the garage to turn it on just so we could recharge a phone or electronic game.

• Be prepared to make food without the stove, and make sure you have food on hand that your child likes. We have eaten at neighbors’ houses (where there are gas stoves) and cooked meat on the grill. We consume lots of fruits and vegetables, sandwiches (to use up lunchmeat that may spoil), and snack-type foods.

• Stay active. In the past, we have created obstacle courses with the furniture, built flashlight forts, and taken lots of baths and calming warm showers. If we were in the basement due to violent weather, we have set up a tent and had a picnic. The change of scenery is always welcome and the novelty of it really keeps Jake’s attention. We took this opportunity to try and play board games and do puzzles, too.

• In a snowstorm, it’s a great energy burn to spend some time shoveling walks and scraping cars. You will come inside with a calm kid. We have also blown up air mattresses and slept in front of the fireplace for another kind of change of scene and routine.

• Have plenty of alternative light sources on hand. Power outages throw Jake into a tailspin at bedtime so I always have a ton of glow sticks and flashlights on hand. (Home Depot sells them all year). We set up the glow sticks in his room at bedtime and he’s usually ok.

Yes, unstructured time is definitely a challenge, but if you can stay calm and exercise creativity, your kids will likely stay calm as well. It’s not easy, but finding every chance you can to have fun during unstructured times will make everything better.

Regular OAR contributor Jenn Lynn feels passionately about helping families touched by autism. She has extensive behavior training from her work in special education (both public and private schools), ABA experience, and raising her own son on the spectrum.The former TV news producer currently speaks and writes about her family’s own experiences in TheWorldAccordingtoJake.com and works part-time for the Weinfeld Education Group, an education advocacy and assessment group based in Silver Spring, Md.