News and Knowledge

Did you ever meet someone who did not like to eat turkey on Thanksgiving? Or do you know anyone who refused to wear a costume to a Halloween party? Is anyone in your family impossible to buy a gift for? How about the stress that creeps into your soul when you tell your family you were invited to someone’s house for a holiday meal? Have you ever seen your neighbors decking the halls and think you’d like to run across the street and show them another meaning of the word deck? If so, then you are not alone.

Most people experience a little bit of the holiday blues when orchestrating the logistics associated with visiting relatives, buying presents, and hosting holiday festivities. For families of children with autism, these stressors are often magnified and very difficult to overcome.

The goals listed below that effective teachers create for their students illustrate just how much stress the holidays can cause in the families of children with autism. But they also represent possibility. It is possible to teach children with autism to learn to do the things described in this list.

1. John will increase his repertoire of foods by trying at least three new food items before the end of the school year.
2. John will sign “no thank you” when offered a non-preferred food.
3. Sammy will request a non-edible item from Santa this year, meaning he will show an interest in toys.
4. James will wait appropriately in line in the store while Mom purchases gifts for the family.
5. Sammy will open a present, smile, and say, “thank you” to the person who gave her the present.
6. Bryan will wear something other than sweatpants to school.
7. Jimmy will learn to wait at least 10 seconds for a requested item. That goal will translate to accepting treats on Halloween, putting them in his bag, and waiting until after dinner to eat any of them.

If you are the parent of a child with autism, you are probably creating some goals for your own child as you read this.

Or you may be thinking that these are things that all kids (and adults, for that matter) should be learning to do, not just kids with autism. The difference is that some children with autism engage in problem behavior when they are asked to participate in activities to which they are infrequently exposed (like holiday events that happen just once a year). In many cases, the problem behavior serves as a means to communicate a need or to avoid an unpleasant situation. In addition, many children with autism cannot complain the way typical kids do. They also may have more fears than other children do that make things difficult if not impossible, such as sitting on Santa’s lap, going to new places, wearing new clothes, and being in overcrowded, chaotic environments.

It isn’t too late to make this holiday season festive and joyous, and it’s never too early to make your new year’s resolutions. Achieving a set of goals requires systematic and repeated instruction. Kids with autism need many opportunities to practice appropriate skills and behavior. For example:

• Halloween was the last day Bryan wore his Spiderman costume, not the first.
• John’s family served turkey and stuffing beginning in June so that by Thanksgiving, he happily ate those items on his plate.

Exposing your children to holiday activities, food, and manners early can help familiarize them with the rituals and traditions that are most important to you. For example:

• Buy or make a costume for Halloween that your child starts wearing at the end of September or beginning of October.
• Decide to serve turkey and stuffing or mashed potatoes and green bean casserole once every couple of weeks for a couple (or a few) months before Thanksgiving and then Christmas arrive.
• Begin in February to teach your child to say thank you every time they receive something from someone, even something like a glass of water from you at home. The same goes for learning to say no thank you when something they don’t want is offered to them.
• Have your child wear dress pants or a skirt to school once a week or once every two weeks.

Whatever your goals for holidays or special occasions are for your child and your family, start early. The time to begin planning for them is probably six to nine months beforehand. With some practice and the opportunity to become familiar with the expectations and situations that come with the holidays, your child may shine in environments and situations that were impossible just last year.

Randy Horowitz is the associate executive director of program development at ELIJA in Long Island, N.Y. Randy has a Master of Science in education from Queens College and a certificate of school administration from the College of New Rochelle. She regularly holds adjunct lecturer positions at Queens College and SUNY Old Westbury. She has presented at local, national, and international conferences on topics relating to educating students with autism. Her particular areas of interest include preparing and supporting students with autism for integration into school and community activities.