News and Knowledge

As an autistic self-advocate, I consider myself fairly lucky to have been relatively unaffected by bullying for most of my life. However, it is an unfortunate fact that many other autistics are very likely to be affected by bullying at some point in their lives. We have trouble making friends; we have interests that might be considered unusual by our peers; and our behavior distinguishes us from other people in a manner that is frequently viewed negatively. These factors make autistics particularly vulnerable to bullying. At the same time, they may also convince bystanders that the person with autism somehow “deserves” to be bullied. 

Contrary to what most people believe, bullying is not necessarily limited to the use of physical force or threats of violence. Teasing and verbal abuse are the most obvious of the non-physical forms of bullying, but it can also occur in more subtle forms like exclusion from social activities. The most malicious form of bullying by far that I have personally encountered is from the people who had initially deceived me into thinking that they were my friends and earned my trust, only to abuse that trust when I let my guard down long enough. Beyond the initial sting of betrayal and the emotional distress that they might cause as a result, these “false friends” will make it difficult to trust other people even after the bullying itself has long since ended.

Because autistics can be more obvious targets for bullies, it is wise for us to figure out how to be less vulnerable. Remember that bullies prefer to pick on people who appear unable or unwilling to stand up for themselves, and that anything that makes you stand out from a crowd in a negative fashion will make you seem like a potential victim in their eyes. While it’s difficult to describe in words what must be done to address this, the best way I can put it is to act “normal.” If the way you act distinguishes you from other people, it is likely to be considered as a sign that you are an easy target. Some people will tell you to ignore them and they’ll leave you alone. That isn’t always true. On occasion, it may even cause them to redouble their efforts and make the bullying worse.

Use these tips to prevent bullying and to stop it if it occurs:

• Figure out ways to suppress stimming (and other behaviors that make you stand out) while you are in public areas. While it may not be comfortable, momentary discomfort is preferable to making yourself more likely to be picked on by bullies.
• Listen to yourself in order to determine how your voice sounds to others. It might be wise to record the way you sound so you can learn how to make it seem more natural and less conspicuous. Even if you’re able to keep yourself from perseverating over your interests, the tone of your voice can itself be a reason for people to pick on you.
• Report bullying behavior to a trusted person or authority figure — a co-worker, teacher, supervisor, HR representative, or anyone else who is in a position to intervene or make the bully stop. Contrary to what some people might think, ignoring bullying does not make it stop on its own, nor is trying to defy them yourself a viable option. In fact, it is likely to get you in trouble instead. If that authority figure is not willing to help you, look to a higher-ranked authority figure. If the bullying is taking place in your workplace and affects your job performance or is being done by one of your superiors, you can contact the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) to help you resolve the issue.
• Schools and colleges are similarly compelled to act under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990. If, for whatever reason, the authorities at the school fail to take the proper disciplinary actions, consider filing a formal grievance with the school district, the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights, and/or the U.S. Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division.

Key resources of note for anyone affected by bullying or suspect that they are being bullied include:

• StopBullying.gov: This comprehensive website, run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, features a multitude of resources for bullying victims, parents of bullied children, and the general public as a whole. While it is mostly geared towards parents, school staff, and other community members, it is an important resource that anyone who has the authority to stop bullying should be aware of. It also has information on the state laws that govern responses to bullying in the event that you need to take legal action in order to stop the bullying.
• PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center: In addition to the Bullying Prevention Center, PACER has created KidsAgainstBullying.org and TeensAgainstBullying.org, which are geared towards teaching children and teens how to recognize, prevent, and respond to bullying. It also has templates that can be used to file bullying-related complaints to the proper authorities, and provides educational toolkits that can be used to educate the community on the negative effects of bullying. (Read more about PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center in this month’s Profile).
• SafeKids.com: While the main website is primarily focused on online safety and cyberbullying, it also contains links to a variety of reputable sources that can be used by people of all ages.

Above all else, keep in mind that bullies need you to fear them in order to have power over you. Don’t cave into any threats or demands they make unless you are at unnecessary risk if you do not give in. Remember that there is no reason not to ask for help from others. Nobody deserves to be bullied for any reason. If your claims aren’t being taken seriously, keep reporting it to higher authorities until your voice is heard.

Colin Weiss, a 23-year-old self-advocate and former OAR intern, wrote an appendix for adult self-advocates for OAR’s Guide to Safety. He has also worked alongside the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) to help his fellow self-advocates in making their way through life.