News and Knowledge

In this article, Jennifer Rose writes about a friendship that’s based on their similarities and compatibility, not on their disabilities. Jennifer is a self-advocate and a student at the College of St. Elizabeth.

My mom wanted me to have a memorable summer last year. Naturally, she considered a list of options, such as seeing my older cousin who works in California as an entertainment lawyer, before choosing one that would make my summer one of the most memorable ones.

My mom knows a woman who lives in the South. Her son, James, (names have been changed to protect the easily embarrassed) is diagnosed with autism like me, and had significant challenges when he was younger. Now, he was doing so well that he had recently graduated from college! I had heard about what an amazing person James was, and was excited to meet him! I already thought that we might get along due to our similarities: we both have an interest in popular culture, we both are withdrawn at first, and we both had undergone similar ASD treatments.

However, from what I heard from Mom, despite recently graduating from college, he wasn’t really doing much nowadays. In fact, the day before I met him, he was playing video games with his friends until 4 in the morning. His mom even got excited that he stopped being so inclusive, since his friends were technically tagging along.

That being said, there’s a lot to be said for low expectations. The day we met, I was so excited that I awkwardly mumbled to my dad, “thanks for not embarrassing me!” I was kind of disappointed that I left two scripts – A Dr. Strange spoof with characters from Backyard Sports and Dexter’s Laboratory as well as a script for my own eponymous show – in the car, but this didn’t detract from the fun we had. He was very friendly and approachable, as were his friends; we discussed movies and ideas, and afterwards, we went to the comic book shop. We had a blast together!

As it turned out, it was not only a comic book shop, but a shop selling movies, video games, posters, comics, and other geeky paraphernalia. I thought it would be the perfect time to show off my film trivia skills, so I pulled out a DVD of Kristen Stewart as a teenager in Catch That Kid and her as an adult in Twilight, saying “The girl from this….grew up to be the babe in this!” (Yeah, I knew Kristen Stewart before she was in Twilight.)

Eventually, we all bought DVDs that we liked – I bought one of X-Men! When my parents came to pick me up, my dad said, “So Jenny, how was your date with Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Koothrappali?” My dad had mixed up some of the characters, but the boys acted in a way similar to the guys from The Big Bang Theory, as they were engaging in geeky behavior at the comic book shop. My response was honest – I had fun with James and his friends, AKA the cast from The Big Bang Theory.

My dad says that people can only truly bond based on their abilities, not their disabilities. He’s absolutely right. For instance, I tried to get into an Asperger’s club two summers ago, but realized that it wasn’t a good fit: they expected me to have a chaperone when I didn’t need one and I didn’t really socialize with anyone – I only went to three different events before my family and I realized it was a bad idea. I bonded with James and his friends because of our common interests, not because of our disabilities. We all have an interest in movies and talents for creating art (they like animation, and I like to write). Hanging out with James and his friends made this past summer one of the best ones yet.

Even though James hasn’t had his big break yet, he is doing animation-related work, like voice-over demos. He is only 24, so he has a while to make a break in the animation industry. But, after hanging out with him throughout the summer, I am positive that it’ll happen soon!

About the Author

Jennifer Rose a student at the College of St. Elizabeth, majoring in English. Jennifer published a book, It’s Not A Perfect World But I’ll Take It: 50 Life Lessons for Teens Like Me Who Are Sort of (You Know) Autistic (Skyhorse Publishing), and is working on a play. Despite her struggles, like her difficulty with organization, Jennifer has worked extremely hard to get where she is today. As a self-advocate, she wants to support other people on the spectrum, and show them what they can achieve with the right support system. You can follow her on twitter here.