Five Steps Parents Can Take to Prevent Bullying
October 17, 2013
Deborah Hammer is an autism specialist with Arlington (Va.) Public Schools. She has worked professionally for over 20 years on behalf of individuals with special needs and their families. Beginning as a teacher for students with autism and other developmental disabilities, she has also served as an advocate, administrator, trainer, adjunct professor, and consultant in the field of special education. She is a teacher/consultant with the National Writing Project, a master naturalist, and co-chair of the Northern Virginia Transition Coalition. Hammer has twice been a recipient of ARC’s Educational Leadership Award. In her free time, she facilitates the “Cool Aspie” social club for young adults on the spectrum.
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No longer dismissed as just part of growing up, bullying today is recognized as a serious educational and social problem. Research done by bullying expert Dan Olweus, Ph.D., showed that being bullied can cause extensive absences from school, poor grades, physiological problems such as stomach distress and headaches, and psychological problems such as anxiety and depression. Some children who have been bullied become bullies themselves. In some cases, being bullied can lead to life-long emotional difficulties and even suicide.
The federal government defines bullying as “unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.”
Children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) are especially vulnerable to this type of power imbalance, which can lead to repeated physical and verbal abuse by their peers. According to a study done by researchers with the Interactive Autism Network (IAN), the preliminary findings indicate that a staggering 63 percent of children with ASD between the ages of 6 and 15 have been bullied, which is three times higher than the rate of bullying that neurotypical children experience. Children with ASD often have more difficulty reporting that they have been bullied or even understanding that they have been bullied, so these numbers may actually be quite low.
It is important that parents make sure that their child knows that she or he has the right to feel safe at school. If your child has been bullied, he or she may require counseling or other supports to help overcome the trauma from repeated teasing by peers.
To prevent bullying from happening in the first place, parents can take these steps to protect their children and others:
- Ask your child’s school to teach neurotypical children about autism spectrum disorders and to start that education in the early grades. Children often are prejudiced against what they don’t understand. If they are confused about why a classmate is unable to speak, repeats words, or talks constantly about certain topics, they may tease that classmate. It is important for them to understand the challenges and difficulties that a classmate with autism may deal with, but also that student’s strengths, interests, and talents. Peers can be taught to be tolerant and respectful of others as well as strategies for communicating and including classmates who have ASD. OAR offers some wonderful resources to help with this education, such as the “What’s up with Nick?” booklet that is the centerpiece of its Kit for Kids materials.
- Meet with the people at your child’s school who have the most power to prevent bullying: teachers and the principal. The school should have an expectation that all children are to be treated in a respectful manner. Strategies should be in place to teach and reward positive, polite behaviors. Also talk to teachers and the principal about what strategies they have in place to prevent cyber bullying, such as limits on certain Web sites and supervision when students are online and using social media in conjunction with their schoolwork.
It is important for teachers and principals to know that the U.S. Department of Education has recently issued a guidance document regarding students with disabilities and bullying (which you can also read more about in this month’s News from the Autism Community). It states in part: “… any bullying of a student with a disability that results in the student not receiving meaningful educational benefit from the special education and related services provided by the school is a denial of Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). A student must feel safe in school in order to fulfill his or her full academic potential….” In other words, failing to address bullying may violate a student’s Individual Education Plan (IEP). The Department also offered a list of evidence-based resources for schools to prevent and address bullying. You or the PTA may want to collaborate with the teacher and principal to bring one of the resources or a trainer to your school.
- Reach out in a friendly way to support staff, such as cafeteria workers, hall monitors, secretaries, and bus drivers. According to the National Education Association, bullying often takes place in cafeterias and other places where teachers and principals may not be the ones supervising students. Make sure that school staff on the front lines know who your child is and what types of social supports and accommodations he or she requires in non-classroom school environments. If these critical staff members are watching out for the best interests of your child, then bullying is less likely to occur.
- Ask your child’s school to set up a peer buddy club. This strategy involves a select group of typical students and one or more students with special needs. The students are all there by choice and are facilitated by a trained faculty member – usually a special education teacher, counselor, or therapist. The typical students learn how to befriend their classmate with special needs and include her or him in a variety of settings, such as the cafeteria or football games. The support and friendship of typical peers can increase the self-esteem of students with ASD and decrease their chances of being targeted by bullies.
- Make sure your child receives social skills instruction. Students with ASD usually require direct instruction to master many of the social and communication skills that their peers are able to just “pick up” from other children. The range of skills varies greatly, depending on ages, grades, gender, and location, so even if a child mastered all of the social skills goals for 3rd grade, he or she will probably have an entire new set of skills to learn in the 4th grade. In other words, learning the skills necessary for fitting in with peers is usually a life-long process.
Types of skills needed to avoid being a target of bullying range from good personal hygiene and grooming to being able to understand common idioms. Understanding what makes someone a friend is also a critical skill for bully prevention; our children need to be able to differentiate between someone who is laughing with them and someone who is laughing at them. They also need to know how to be kind to others, what to say or not say, and basic good manners.
Additionally, children today need to understand how to stay safe online and the social skills necessary for engaging in social media and texting.
Speech therapists, school counselors, and special education staff can assist you with teaching your child the necessary social skills to be both accepted and included by typical peers.
Resources for Bullying Prevention
